Friday, April 09, 2010
When was it again? @ 9:31 PM
I thought i was self-pitying last night. Maybe i was dreaming. Or maybe i was but towards someone's cold embrace.
Anyway, stuffed myself silly, and helped my sister out with her hair.
Meanwhile i was wondering why am i that capable of bearing every nonsense from everyone. I have to say, i almost had enough. But still, there is space for more. Maybe one day i will disappear with everyones' past, misgivings, troubles, agony, problems and so much more that have been taken out to form what they are of today and of what they have achieved.
Sometimes i even wonder if anybody understands what am i trying to say. But then again i came up with two theories:
1: No one can express how they feel/felt through any amount of phrases or words but only if the person experiences it themselves.
2: but then again, everyone whom had been through the same sh!t together, will experience different feelings of heart and mind accordingly to each individual.
So then, will ever there be this time where someone does really understands and feel what you had felt, and experienced as much as you had been. Maybe this world is simply made up with cover-ups and lies isn't it ?
That's prolly why everything seemed so perfect, because everyone's been lying, such good liars in fact that all of us have been lying to ourself since we learned how to make friends and that we belonged in a family with kinships.
Maybe after posting this i would contradict myself and well go around to comfort people when i happen to.
Freak, sometimes i would love to stab myself for being so.. indecisive. Half of me wanted to clarify with her, slap her and scold a string of colorful vulgar/vocabs, while the other part of me wanted to cry and say sorry.
Wait.. Just realized it's her fault. So i should scrutinize. But i promised to be good.. didn't i.
Maybe i don't mark my words any much hur.