Wednesday, April 13, 2011
If you lay awake at night, i wonder was it your conscientious biting in your heart. @ 8:19 PM
Big bang - Tonight. :)
Some times i felt so that existence was pointless. If you live like an angel, you see people of familiar faces walking by, but they don't recognize you nor remember you anymore. Just like you didn't exist at all. When you don't feel like existing, isn't same like dying.
Somehow now i really don't have the right attitude to do anything formal, anything that proper. And relations just drive me crazy.
Well, most of the times i really can't understand my lovers. And i can't understand the people i admire. Really. Feelings like that gets my confused like storms that struck me.
I effing sometimes don't understand what i talk about too. And how could i make someone understand what i am talking about. I am bewildered. Yeah, i think the feeling that i am feeling considering right now, is bewilderment.
I prolly shouldn't keep talking stuffs like that, Makes my whole day weird. Makes everyone who comes to my blog bored.
Perhaps i shouldn't share too much. Perhaps i shouldn't cared too much.
I have not an idea.
Anyway, i am back to Singapore.
Five weeks in China. Not sure if i should call it a horrific one. Yeah. Horrific. Talk about oxymoron.
Give something. I need to dance. I need to be free. I don't want to be affected by you, when all you wanted was to fit in. And all you did, was to make use of me. I don't understand why should i trouble myself for you when all along i guess so that it was because they said so.
Really i shouldn't care. Really i am utterly speechless by the amount of effort you can give, the amount of shame you can carry, just to fit in.
If i were wrong to judge you this way in any point of time in the future, Then i was right because if you think it was about you, and you fit these words, then prolly i was right this time. :)