Literally, the first day of school of the new semester.

But i felt empty. well, at least my tummy is filled till the brim like crazy, And i am super heavy already. So damn sad.

These past two years drove me crazy. Literally. All the problems and all. I told my friend that i seem to be less stronger than who i was in the past. The past me wouldn't think she would be in this state if she met me and listen about my life. But it's life isn't it?

And so i thought ranting was a good idea; since i am already an open book, why not just pushing it further for some one to hold on and whine to. But a little hay-wired it become.

Now, i just want to let go of everything, if i could, and not be affected by anything. Well at least than i will be not/less mindful about performing in front of my seniors and all. ;)

But well, it's easier to be said than done.

__Slightly Edited.__

Because of not being able to contain some of my outflowing emotions and terror, I know these months i have been terrible. Horrible even.

But Kudos to those who survived it.

Huge thanks to those who were there, who listened and cared.

Charis; michelle; Jbaby; Crystal; Dwayne; wayne; _______; Cassandra; Huiyuan; Xueling; Arran & _______. [Not in particular order, and if i missed out any. SORRY. ]

A few things to mention:

Charis told me that, i shouldn't get so affected easily by people. Especially people whom don't matter and those that often say things or do things that don't mean. I really don't understand the fact but somehow i just got to accept it.

Cry. Some thing i've known from very young and have always been living with it. I am like a cry baby. The slightest things can make me cry, even laughing or the feeling of rejection. Not that i purposely meant to. But it just happened. Today i cried. And before that i almost did twice or thrice.

I believe in karma. So i just gotta stay good. Well, for the fact that wanting to be mean to the people i love isn't easy. :) Gawd, i just want to tell my friends how much i love them. Oh dear.

Like, i feel much calmer after talking to charis. Some times i think the things she went through doesn't lose to anybody, though she might seem spiteful and weak, but she's not. Definitely not. :)

Oh well. Enough about this and that. I guess, suie's gotta stand up and start some where again. Now you know the reason why you can't be like how you used to be, and how things aren't they way they used to seem. But one thing for sure, you can make it better together with Lord. :)

Ah. :) Yes, suie buck-up buck-up! Don't get affected, be motivated. Get up and be passionate, persevere and work hard and smart together. DANCE DANCE DANCE. ;)