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Thursday, September 29, 2011
Pack and gone. @ 10:11 AM

:) Going to be on my way to school in about seven hours or more.
And i will only be back on sunday night.
It's prolly the break that i need right now to sort out what i am going to do, now on.
Whether its about, friends/friendships, dating, life in general, future (5/10/6/3 yrs from now), career, dance, handicrafts, culture, whatever.
I really need to stand up and get myself tidied up.
Met up with X and M. I totally feel like some one else watching by the sidelines.
No pun intended, no hard feelings.
I guess maybe it is time to let go? I have no idea. (Totally not linking with the above two sentences.)
The thing about giving up your friends, as wrong as it sounds, is painful. At least it is to me.
I could be, but i am not, like: 'Oh, it don't matter, since its going to be awkward' Or 'If it's not meant to be, well i just have to give it up'. I can't do it.

Maybe because i am unwilling to change. In a sense: 'who the heck now at our age can be as candid and true to one and other. It's the time where we grow into little chameleons and protect ourselves with one thousand and one colors to face other chameleons.' Oh, thinking about it irks me to the core.
I can't. People know when i feel negative to them. Explains the speech from one of my friend. People know if i think or not. But they like to self delude themselves.

I get a lot of misinterpretation.
Alternatively, i change.
I can be someone who doesn't talk much. (It might be unbelievable but nobody knows any other in and out completely. So quit judging.)
I can be someone who chose to not express freely how she feels about things and her surrounding.
I can be someone that listens, smiles at every single thing, sympathize with you, care for you and be there 24/7.
I almost said i can be the girl who smokes, hangout late, sleepover at random friend's house. (I don't think i would ever want everyday to be, even though it might sound fun and all damn bonding. What happened to the days where we all cherish the precious times that we could spent late nights out, or sleep over at girl's' house?) especially the studying for 'O's period. Damn, Why won't anyone reminiscence these.
Yes, people do 'change' because they grow up, they mature, the friends the have/mingle(d), their surrounding environment, circumstances. Etc
But i heard phrases like, a leopard never changes it spots. I heard things like, its easier to move a mountain than to change a person's character.
But i go with this: 'When people change it means the end.'

Momentarily ranting/babbling.
I get the point totally. I'm just not satisfied in why people need this and that. Maybe i wanted so much for others to fit in (vice-versa), i guess maybe we should just stop asking each other to fit in at all.
I am going to just let things go their way, and prolly its time for me to stop being so bossy and nosy about nonsensical sh!t.

I am not really saying it is nonsensical, its just if they want you to know, you will get to know, otherwise it prolly don't concern you anyway. Alternatively, you can ask. It depends. You get direct/direct relation or inverse relation.

I am so going to not make sense if i continue.

When i assume to much, I make myself sad. Be overly-confident and you get: 'Bitches talking behind you back.'
Suie: Ignorance is bliss, applies not to fools but the wise who choose not to let nonconstructive forces affect the boundaries of their power/influence.

Nights everyone! :)
loves, suie.

P/s: you might feel it. And if you don't then you prolly didn't really cared in the first place, i wouldn't mind. :)

When whispers no longer survive;

Because there's you and me.