Friday, January 21, 2011
Mimosa. @ 10:28 AM
Shucks. Like a sudden interruptance. I forgotten all that anger.
It's almost like, twick. Something snap. And then you lose it all.
Sometimes i am a little plain incoherant. Even others could tell. The time where, i am not angry actually. But it is because my heart flutters, i panic. Because i couldn't make it right.
Yeah. Just like that.
Sometimes i wonder if that authistic side of me wiped away. And other times, whether if it is overwhelming me.
I am very afraid. Afraid of so much things. Not the things that people normally are afraid of. But more like, i am afraid of stares.
Yeah. Something along that line.
That's it. I just crossed the line. I am bonkers. I am joining the world. The fake fake fake fake fake and superficial.
How can i judge. But i just did. I feel like killing myself. If the three years back me saw me, i would say: "It's okay, it won't be" ".Just smile."
If five years back, the me saw me today, that girl would say: "Don't be so pessimestic, don't get down. It isn't that negative. Believe me."
If ten years back that little girl saw me today, it goes: "Are you okay? You can cry with me, you can lean on me."
I wonder what went wrong.
I would like to end my every post with a fact about me, that i think some may know, or not know at all. So at least when i die someone knows. Or when one day i have become someone i totally don't know, or perhaps it was the me afterall, i can look back and see how it was in the past. Rather then just holding on the memory, there's the edvidence.
I will start with something easy.
P/s: I have Short-termed memory. :)