Friday, May 02, 2008
moments of magic. @ 6:08 AM
There was many a moment when i looked back.. just like a replay button pressed once again... the friends i had , the memories so precious and Bare.. that cuts through my skin and through my lil'heart for which i dont think it was the greatest gift i had for my loved ones. For those who are truely mine , for those who are gone , for those who was once that close , that near ... i didnt reallyy cared. When i thought they would be there forever .... by a lil' sacrifices i thought it would be enough ... i thought it would be.... But i din really expect for all that. If only... if only time could change everything , If only time could go back... but i know and knew it was impossible. That it made me changed. My life. The way i am. and everything. a whole damn shit, a whole new me. But as the playback starts..the flashback was there again.. so clear-cut.. New... and fresh... Bleed a thousand..times.. cried for countless moments.. and i knew deep in my heart i tried.. to recover?.. to atone? to forget? .. no.. i choose to keep it right beside me.. to remind myslef to know i once had all this.. but now am suffering from all the heck called *retribution* .. maybe i did not give enough , do enough and everything that was expected of me.. but i am really afraid now to lose more... its gonna be a nono.. although what i had now was no longer *mine* no longer *much* but it still gonna hurt someway , somehow.. and its still gonna be important. For some i did not regret. Cause i believe when peeps lose something, they somehow get something back in return. maybe this is my wishful thinking.. but who cares..as i am that fantasizing girl... well.. maybe not just that.
hmm.. today was double examination which totally sucked. flunked and flunking for everything. oh well.. a failure i am.. *sighs* ... oh well... after which went to winnie's house to study but did nothing much.. then met huitiong and them at tampinies mall.. for which also din do much only much crapping and chatting with winnie.. going very brief here. Not in the mood for much elaboration. hmm.. went home late , thanks for yhan's accompany.. although.. sometimes it really *** but appreciated.. and .... oh well.. bought mother's day pressie.. and then..home-ed..
slacked.. and thought many many things.. really many.. the corner was wet , a tear almost dropped.. but it din for a reason.
~ my locket is still locked for some reasons;
for one is the memories that are still there ;
and when will that key come back to me again ;
I know i loved you dearly , i regret , i hated it ;
but i know it was impossible. ~
The new reborned , i was daunted by the past , no more shy-ed guys for me.
* i love and care for YOU and HIM.
But HE was the one i LOVED and CARED.
sorry people... that is all... hmm.. to some i will shout ... i never CHANGED. and to some i shout GO AWAY. And to some i will say and whisper... * please come back to me again......
Labels: i thought.
When whispers no longer survive;
Because there's you and me.
Memories &Desires goes hand in hand.